Immediately following the ceremony, the parents will usually offer a few wise words to the couple and give them lai seered envelopes containing cash, a symbol of luck and good fortune. Let's dive deeper into the processes of the engagement ceremony in Taiwan: 1. Sarah also wore a deep green jade bangle that Justins mom had acquired on her travels to China many years ago. A smaller amount of lucky money may be given in addition to a larger amount as an overall wedding gift.. Sarah and Justin then offered the tea to the tea drinkersi.e., the family members taking part in the ceremony. THANK YOU for ALL that you and your family does for Chinese cooking! Here are some additions, and their associated symbolism: As you can see, you do have to sweat the little details a bit, but remember to have fun. My husband and I participated in this tradition, back in 1977, yet cant remember much protocol, smiles! You can ask a relative to be an attendant, but Au says this can sometimes be awkward if they are also recipients of the tea. The two tangerines should be saved to be peeled by the bride that evening, which will bring longevity. Hello! Thank you Morgan! She will also ignite a firecracker to welcome the grooms party. Otherwise, its seen as rude, or as if she didnt like them., When planning a tea ceremony, speak to your families about who you want to include. their loving care and upbringing. Time and again, my worldwide web pursuits for solid recipes that I know my family will eat has landed me back here.. There is no set time for this, says Au. Sometimes logistics dictate how things go more than tradition! Dried Longan (, guyun): These represent wholeness, completeness, and esteem. Gold jewelry is a traditional gift for the bride (usually given by closer family members like parents and grandparents). You can prepare the first batch of tea in advance, but you will likely need more, so adjust water temperature accordingly. We provide couples with comprehensive wedding planning information, planning tools, and tons of wedding inspiration! Thank you so much for this FYI which I hurriedly googled when I learned that I am invited to a Chinese wedding tea ceremony in a few days. "daughter-in-law. The number of wedding cars can be 2 to 6, while the number of people in each car should be even; however, the numbers 4 and 8 should be avoided. As you can see from the photos, we are not all too formal of a family! Note that the credit for most of the photos in this post (all except the one with me, Justin, and Barley) goes to our wedding photographer, Keristin Gaber of Haley Richter Photography. Its a big tradition (probably THE Chinese wedding tradition). 8. Its an Italian brand called Chiara Boni. The groom and the matchmaker should get out of the bridal car first. Read our, The History and Meaning of the Tea Ceremony. NEED VENDOR DETAILS, PACKAGE DEALS, OR PRICE INFO? The couple receives well wishes and gifts, and its an act of welcoming either the bride or the groom, thereby unifying both families. When serving, you must say, [kinship term], please drink the tea.. 3. Im looking ahead to 2 weddings, and Sarah already has 3 dates saved in her calendar! 5. Before their departure, a firecracker will be ignited to symbolize the start of the ceremony. It has given me plenty of insight for organizing a tea ceremony for my daughters up coming wedding. The tea cups were handed back to Sarah and Justin, who passed the cups to Kim and I. The parents of the bride then pray for the groom to be wise, and their daughter to be in happiness. Sarah runs a tight itinerary! This is important for the couple to discuss with their parents and family beforehand, so there arent any awkward or confused silences! Returning of giftsAfter receiving the betrothal gifts from the groom, the bride will have to give some gifts as well. Arriving to the brides placeWhen the grooms car is 50 meters from the brides home, the groom will ignite a firecracker to send notice to the bride. This is called "Bai Jiao" (literally translated as "bow to the palanquin"). In a nutshell, the brides family usually organizes and hosts this ceremony. ), Step 1: Everyone assembles where the tea ceremony is being held, Step 2: Opening statement from parents of the bride and/or groom (or potentially an officiant). The banquetAfter the ceremony is completed, the bride will hold an engagement banquet for the guests; the groom will pay part of the expenditure with a red packet. After greeting the bride's family, the groom is to bring the bridal bouquet to the bride awaiting in the room. Were Bill, Judy, Sarah, and Kaitlin a family of four cooks sharing our home-cooked and restaurant-style recipes. The engagement ceremony is a momentous event prior to the wedding, as it symbolizes that the couple is mentally ready to commit to the future! This is not a requirement and there is no bad luck associated with this. 2. Where did you get your dress for the tea ceremony? harmony.
Meanwhile, the bride's sisters or confidantes must obstruct the groom, refusing him the bride's presence unless he passes their tests. MORE. After 2020, theres a huge backlog of delayed nuptials set to happen over the next two years. The officiators will inform the gods which family member is getting married on that day and pray for gods and ancestors to bless and protect his family with lasting prosperity and domestic Some say that the gold jewelry should be put on right away, but it may be enclosed in the red envelopes along with money, and its not strictly necessary unless someone is presenting it outright. That said, we did some research on Chinese websites and consulted with older aunts and uncles, and found that traditions can vary by region, or from family to family. Hi there, yes of course you could! When bridesmaids enter the bridal room, the groom will give them red envelopes. The groom and the bride will exchange rings and put the ring on each kindness and reciprocate with gifts such as soaps. Journal for Early Modern Cultural Studies. Its so important to keep these traditions alive and I know it was a crash course for us so we had to share! For example, the bride may serve one parent and the groom the other parent, and then they may switch so that both parents have received one cup of tea each from the bride and groom (two cups total). For more than 2 individuals (i.e. Gifts from the mother-in-law'sThe mothers of both sides will present the golden accessory and jewels as first meeting gifts. You can order them on websites like aliexpress.com. From the groom's Leaving the grooms placeAfter the groom worships his ancestors, he and his family will carry the betrothal gifts before heading to the brides place. dressed A younger member from the bride's family will open the car door for the groom while presenting a tea tray (with apples and tangerines wrapped with red paper). Translation, if some of your tea attendants are on the clumsy side, maybe give them another job! Grandparents who wanted to be comfortable in the summer heat wore lighter outfits. Cherisse Harris is a fact-checker with a focus on lifestyle, beauty, and parenting. Moreover, the bride should not look backwards during the process. Performing the tea ceremonyThe brides family will invite the groom and his family to sit according to their seniority, with the groom sitting at the farthest side. Not at all, and its not frowned upon either way. hall of the house. The father of the groom is served by the groom, then by the bride. The Chinese tea ceremony for Sarah and her partner Justin was also an opportunity to recognize Justins Jewish upbringing, as they paired the tea ceremony with a Ketubah signing. They both need to bend their middle fingers so that the ring does not slip to the bottom of the finger. We also placed some flower arrangements behind the tea ceremony area with large bowls of whole in-shell walnuts, Chinese dates, whole peanuts, fresh longans, and wrapped Chinese candies. Do I give something (jewelry) to the groom? When the bridal car is about the depart, the bride will throw out a paper fan (with a red envelope and a handkerchief tied to the end of the fan) for her younger brother or sister to pick it up. 1. give her the bridal bouquet after he and the best men pass the tests and usher the bride into the hall. Andrea Lo is a Hong Kong-based freelance journalist specializing in local culture, food and drink, travel, design, and architecture. Kneeling while serving the tea is part of the etiquette, says Au. conducting "nazai," the groom's family will prepareMORE. Best wishes for lifelong happiness together :).
The wedding officiators from the bride's family sit in the hall, and the bride and the groom kneel in front of the them. A Chinese tea set something red and cheerful with a double happiness character () is ideal. 12 Chinese Wedding Traditions You Need to Know, AAPI Couples On Celebrating Their Love and Traditions at Their Weddings, Ringing in the Vows: AAPI Wedding Pros on Love, Tradition, Culture, and Heritage, 13 Filipino Wedding Traditions You Need to Know, A Grand, Multi-Day Wedding with an Intimate Guest List in Florence, 9 Korean Wedding Traditions You Need to Know, 16 Mexican Wedding Traditions You Need to Know, An Easy Breakdown of Wedding Ceremony Outline, 10 Christian Wedding Ceremony Traditions You Need to Know, Everything You Need to Know About the Korean Paebaek Ceremony, 10 Common Wedding-Related Events and Parties to Know About, 43 Fascinating Wedding Traditions From Around the World. family, a boy should be holding a red wedding tray with two large tangerines wrapped with red paper, greeting the bride and politely welcoming her out of the bridal car. According to Sharon Au, drinking that tea symbolizes the parents not only recognizing but also accepting a new person into the family. What an interesting and informative article. Most of the men wore suits or collared shirts, with the women opting for slightly more casual summer dresses.
A common refrain was asking for loooots of babies! Led by the "Hao Ming Po" (literally translated as the lady with a good life), the bride will hold the tea tray with both hands to serve sweet tea to the groom's family and relatives and greet them one by one. When a dai kum jeh is hired, she handles this part while also saying auspicious expressions. Theres quite a bit of kitchen coordination involved in preparing the tea and getting it into the hands of the bride and groom. 87 years of expert advice and inspiration, for every couple. According to Seven Revisions by Chinese writer Ying Lang (1487-1566) documenting current affairs and happenings in society: The tea plant cannot be transplanted, and after transplantation, it shall not live. The grooms mother will dress the bride with gold necklaces and bracelets, while the brides mother will put the gold necklace on the groom. Another popular choice is candied lotus seeds. You dont need a dai kum jeh for this, though. After double-checking the items, cars and entourage, the groom will get properly Thank you for such an informative article. Symbolic cash in auspicious amounts (e.g., lucky numbers like $88) for the couples future is most common.Two red envelopes should be preparedone for the bride and one for the groom. She goes on to note that this is especially so for the grooms side of the family. (As is the case with many Chinese wedding traditions, the grooms family takes precedence over the brides.) This can also be an opportunity to give the primary wedding gift, but it does not have to be. It is then conducted for the grooms family at his home if the day involves the couple going there. While both families can agree on the amount, the groom usually needs to pay for the tables of the grooms side and take on a lucky number. In some modern Chinese weddings, the tea ceremony remains one of the most significant traditions, where the newlyweds show their respect to the elders in their families, and they in turn show their acceptance of the marriage. Symbolic imagery with the pairing of a dragon and phoenix is also ideal. Going from the Ketubah signing to the tea ceremony was a very intimate and touching part of the wedding day, and a wonderful way to recognize the similarities and differences between both families traditions. The newlyweds then bid farewell to the bride's parents and express gratitude for
Then the next group takes their seats and is served tea. If at the tea ceremony, should I give it to the Groom or how at the tea ceremony? Upon the end of the banquet, the grooms side should leave first. Therefore, if any of the two mothers belong to this zodiac sign, she should not touch the couple. Decide who you will want as attendants, as well as locations for the ceremony. The elders will place red envelopes under the tea cups as a congratulatory gesture after they finish the tea whereas the bride will acknowledge their The groom can see the bride and She will also give a young child from the groom's family a chicken leg tied with red paper, as well as a red packet. After the bride's mother put the bridal flower on the bride, the bride's father will put down the bride's veil. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Before the bride steps out of Typically a woman, the dai kum jeh guides the bride in navigating through customs. Both families are involved to officially acknowledge the engagement and give their blessings, and the couple will exchange grand gifts during the engagement ceremony, before proceeding to plan the wedding. A polite, standard phrase is [Family member name / Chinese kinship term], please have some tea.. What goes in the tea? The
The groom will put a ring on the right middle finger of the bride and the bride will also put a ring on his right middle finger. The groom's family will invite the bride's entourage into the house and properly seat them down. The bride first steps over the fire pan with her right foot, and then steps on and breaks the roof tile, symbolizing the elimination The officiators will advise the newlyweds to live in harmony and love. In the end, though, everything went smoothly, and even our 102-year-old great grandma was very happy with all the wedding activities! the bride's home accompanied by the matchmaker. On the flipside, its an opportunity for those close family members to personally and formally express their happiness, best wishes, and congratulations to the couple. Do the tea drinkers have to finish the tea in their cup? Theres quite a bit of coordination involved, so you may want to build it into your plan! An important part of tea brewing was making sure that it was warm, but not hot. At this point in the day, most folks will be dressed or partially dressed for the wedding, or may choose to wear a separate outfit from what they plan to wear for the wedding. In the bridal room, two chairs should be arranged in advance, with the groom's black pants put on one of the chair and coins and notes placed under them. After a given individual receives and drinks the tea, they should offer their gift of lai seered envelopesof money and/or gold jewelry for the bride and speak a few words to the couple as they desire. I am proud to say that your genealogy has been the sole tutorial for my Asian-inspired culinary adventures for years; probably since you began. 14 Chinese Wedding Invitations That are Unique Yet Still Traditional & Where to Get Them, Chinese Wedding Chocolate & Candy Boxes - Why They're a Must-Have Wedding Tradition, White Flower Girl Dress with Pretty Lace Design and Ballerina Style Skirt, Tirtha Uluwatu Essential Scarlett Package (30 pax), Anantara Layan Phuket Resort Layan Chapel Wedding Package (20 pax), Groom's Wedding Qun Kua/Cheongsam for Men in Black Red with Double Happiness, Please click the following declaration box. I am 3rd generation Chinese American, and so refreshing to see this observed by younger brides. The origins of the tea ceremony go as far back as the Tang dynasty in China (618-907). Any gifts went into the wedding basket for safe keeping. 7. Symbolizing the union of two families, it is a meaningful part of the day, typically taking place inside the couples respective family homes. Then we took the used teacups and placed them on a tray for Jen to run back to the kitchen for washing. The groom's family will set off a long roll of firecrackers to welcome the bride as the bridal fleet move closer to the destination. A stovetop or electric kettle for boiling water and brewing the tea. Otherwise, one of the two will boss the other around after the wedding. LEAVE A MESSAGE! 10. After drinking the sweet tea, the drinker should place a red 16 Bilingual Wedding Invitations That Can be Customized to Your Needs. (. After the car arrives, the matchmaker will be first to alight, and the groom should be the last one to get off. The Chinese tea ceremony is conducted on the day of the wedding and sees the bride and groom serve tea to their parents, in-laws, and other family members. Notoriously unable to follow a recipe (usually preferring to freestyle it), Kaitlin's the family artist, knitter, master of all things chili oil/condiments, and trailblazer of creative recipes with familiar flavors. We did dig out the family heirlooms in terms of gold jewelry. There are couples who choose to only do so before their parents and in-laws and not for other relatives, which is something they will usually have a consensus with their families about. Heres a sample of how things could go: As for exactly how the tea is served, there is etiquette involved. Seeking Truth and Exposing Falsehood in Early Modern Prose Collections, or Seeing Faces in Pansies. Hong Kong-based Sharon Au established her eponymous wedding consultancy, providing professional dai kum jeh services, in 1993. She's worked in research for nearly two decades. If I am giving the bride jewelry, and a lei-si. For many Chinese couples, activities on their wedding day are centered around the auspicious hour for them to take place. bride will keep a silk fan, meaning that she brings goodness to the groom's family (the Chinese word for "fan" is homonymous to the Chinese word for "kindness"). So each individual should receive a total of 2 cups. A Chinese red tea (known in the West as a black tea) is a safe, crowd-pleasing choice. After a brief rest, the newlyweds can By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. It usually happens at the homes of the bride and groom (brides family at the brides home and grooms family at the grooms home). The bridal party is usually present, and bridesmaids often act as attendantsmaking the tea, handing over teacups to the couples for them to present to their relatives, washing the teaware. Afterwards, the mother-in-law and the bride should begin calling each other "mother" and The same order is followed for grandparents and other relatives. In Chinese, the expression drinking a daughter-in-laws teawhich references the tea ceremonyoften represents a wedding, which goes to show just how important this tradition is to this day. There was also a table for placing the tea set and gifts. The bride and groom then go down the line of the group of family members until everyone has been served. Red Dates (, hngzo): These add sweetness to the tea and symbolize the sweetness of the couples marriage, as well as prosperity and good fortune. Itd also be nice to have your attendants learn an auspicious expression or two to say for the ceremony. 11. the car, she should gently touch the tangerines and switch their places before placing a red envelope under one of them as a form of reciprocation. When the tea was ready, Jen filled the ceremonial pot in the kitchen and walked it back to the tea ceremony room as the tea ceremony was already in progress. According to the traditional customs and etiquettes of making a betrothal proposal, a matchmaker will visit the bride's family and make the proposal on behalf of the groom's family. I always enjoy your recipes and articles. Interested in listing wedding packages with Asia Wedding Network. Traditionally, the brides family. Facing the family shrine, men stand on And as for lei-si, you should prepare 2, 1 for bride and 1 for groom at the tea ceremony. When Sarah was planning her wedding, one of the biggest questions on our minds was the Chinese wedding tea ceremony part of the day. Traditionally, the tea ceremony takes place the morning of the actual wedding, but in terms of changing timing, it really depends on what the elders thinkif theyre ok with it, go for it! Its outdated, but a fine way to go about things. At an auspicious hour, the bride is ushered out of the hall (without stepping on the doorsill) supported by the groom and the Hao Ming Po. But my favorite is probably to make sure the tea is at a warm, optimal temperature, so there isnt any burnt tongues or the dreaded blowing to cool the tea. ! I have been looking everywhere for a modest red dress and cant find one that I love. Then the tea ceremony can take place with each side of the family. Doing this in one go, says Au, is the best way. But things are also flexible; if there is a lunch banquet, for example, you can also do the ceremony there. Well done! Im glad we could bring back some good memories :) :) :). However, in Chinese tradition, the Tiger zodiac sign conflicts with wedding events. She will also put her gifts all together and present them to the groom. The matchmaker will count the gifts, and hand them to the brides family. (This is a good time to have your photographer taking portraits with each group.) We also moved furniture out of the way to clear a space for chairs where the tea drinkers would sit. Address the family members you are serving tea to in kinship terms, and hand them the teacup with both hands. Its not entirely up to the couple, though. We had 5 of us on deckme, Kaitlin, plus our 4 cousins, Chris, Jen, Steph, and Kim. have photographs with the entire family and friends. Its a touching symbol of the coming together of two families and it gives the couple the opportunity to acknowledge the people who helped raise them. The cup should always be offered with both hands, as a sign of respect. Of course, I will give a bigger lei-si (?) The parents and in-laws are the key recipients, and sometimes other relatives such as grandparents, aunts and uncles will also take part. A funny question that came up often in preparing for the tea ceremony was what the appropriate Chinese honorifics for various family members were. 9. Chinese-style teaware and cushions (for the couple to kneel comfortably on) are usually used, with the "double happiness" Chinese characterwhich symbolizes weddingsprinted on them. Tap here to receive our FREE top 25 recipe book! I cant remember exactly wherebought it over a year ago now. as a wedding gift. I actually got it from Bergdorf Goodman or some other department store online! the left and women on the right, first making offerings to gods and then to ancestors. The bride's entourage can enter the bridal room for photographs with the newlyweds. The couple, often dressed in traditional wedding garments (the qun kwa for the bride, in particular), will kneel before their elders and serve them tea, with the help of attendants (usually bridesmaids).
The total number of people should be an even number. You could alternate families for exampleserving the brides parents, then the grooms parents, then the brides grandparents, then the grooms grandparents, etc. She will take some part of the gifts, while the rest are returned to the groom. Let's say there was a big family with 50 relatives participating, then you can't really rush it.. Performing the ring ceremonyThe bride will come out of the room and sit on a high chair, while her legs should put on a short chair. For guests of a tea ceremony, there is no formal dress code, and it is really up to the discretion of the couple. My mom bought red double happiness decorations to hang and a tea set from China months ahead of time. A Ketubah is a Jewish marriage contract signed by the couple and two witnesses. 4. When the two sides exchange their wedding rings, the good fortune woman will say words with auspicious meanings. After the newlyweds enter the room, they will sit side by side, which symbolizes their union, their sharing of future ups Today, however, most people see the tea ceremony as a symbol of the families welcoming the bride or groom into the family. Enjoy the wedding! The banquet marks the perfect ending of the betrothal ritual. After that, the grooms parents will offer the bride gold jewelry, most notably dragon and phoenix bangles, a traditional wedding accessory. Hi Gardenia, usually the bride gets the jewelry, not the groom. All of the nuts and fruits should be whole, as nothing symbolically should be missing or broken. Youll also need space for the couple to kneel on pillows in front of the chair, which is the customary and most respectful way for the tea to be served. and downs as well as prosperity and wealth. So we thought it was a good time to break down an important Chinese traditionthe Chinese wedding tea ceremonyfor couples out there who are in the midst of planning their celebrations. Here are 5 Kua () Designs that We Love! An auspicious date for the engagement is selected, and the event is held at the brides home, or other venues. Some even kneel with their head touching the ground as a show of respect. ), Tea drinkers (the family members being recognized! After the newlyweds enter the hall, the officiators from the groom's family will accompany them to make offerings to the groom's ancestors. The groom will also serve glutinous rice balls for the bride's entourage. The ancient role, literally big aunt-sister in Cantonese and dubbed bridal chaperone in English by Au, was once an indispensable part of southern Chinese weddings.
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